I had to break up with her reddit

Once a relationship becomes "serious," both parties need to be making a good faith effort to keep the relationship healthy. Just like you, I never got that physical chemistry feeling with my ex even though he was incredibly good looking and handsome. I was super confused and didn't say anything. Don't worry about looking like a bad guy because she has x-amount of problems and didn't break up with her in a socially acceptable way. Go ahead move out, break up with her, free her to find someone better. This means that she won't have a panic attack if she was faking it and you have the opportunity to walk away rather than being stuck in the same space as her whilst she has her moment. Advice Needed. Me and my ex had been together for little over a year when I started to realize things. My (27m) gf (25f) and I have been dating for one year. his depression made his libido Had to break up with her because of her mental health. You don’t actually move on that way. We knew it was time to break up when we realised how comfortable we were together. About a week ago, she got very mad at me for “flirting” with my friend’s girlfriend in front of her (my friend was there with us). We had the same taste in tons of things and started texting like crazy for like 2 months. She was mean, controlling, very needy, and she was insatiably horny (that last part was fine). Yup. My GF of three years broke up with me when I was in poor shape (not solely due to that obviously; in hindsight her decision was understandable) which prompted me to hit the gym. Don't feed into that. Do not take her back, just block her on everything, tell the people who need to know and move on with your life after moving out. Hey r/dating, I'm a newcommer here and I'm looking for advice, I'm extremely sorry if this is not the subreddit for advice, but I am in pain. Because I guarantee she's the one in the relationship that actually settled. If I’m being honest she looks extremely good and also very nice and I like spending time with her. I know it was because of her coworkers. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS COMMUNICATE. She also said over our phone call that the therapist specifically said "we have to break up" rather than just presented it only as a general concept of processing After posting and expressing to some people that i had a suspicion she cheated on me i couldnt get the nagging feeling out of my head. 55% of different-sex cohabitors get married within 5 years of moving in together. Be respectful, tell her why, be clear and also draw a clear cut so that she can get over you. ADMIN MOD. There is no way to break up with someone without hurting them. 6. It wasn't a perfect relationship, but we were genuinely happy and loved each other. We also have no children. If after being in this relationship, you find yourself doubting if you were ever a good person to begin with - it's time to get out. Hi, Reddit, I 24M have initiated breaking up with my GF 23F of 5 years at the end of last year and I totally regretted it right now. There's two ways to work on it: Exercise and Breathing. How do you manage the guilt around leaving a partner who had done nothing wrong, just wasn’t the right fit, despite being genuinely an objectively fantastic human being? My crush [22F] broke up with her boyfriend and wants to be with me [22M] Hey r/relationships , Throwaway because involved parties are likely redditors. M 26 F 27, dating for a little over a year. Feeling you “missed out” is a you problem. But I’m struggling to do it, I just feel so guilty about it. First off, I teach middle school which is just one awkward moment after another. Only you Can make this decision. To those who broke up because you “lost feelings” for your partner. I finally broke it off after he said he'd kill himself if I left him, and if I realized my worth Id never be with him. You had to leave to protect yourself. You'll be begging for her to take you back in 6 months once being single shows you how unattractive you are. She was tough, which is a huge part of what drew me to her. I didnt expect one of her closest friends to spill the beans but she did. ADMIN. The other night we had a nice date. It was always hard. These two kids were arguing over a pencil because one kid supposedly broke the other kid's pencil. There was no cheating involved either. You've done things the polite way three times now, it hasn't worked. i (16m) recently was forced by my parents, and she by hers to break Girlfriend broke up with me because of her own depression? I'll try to keep it short and to the point. Type-Sunny291. Probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years: 49%. Try to activate her support system before you leave her. I feel like the most cruel person on the planet, I may never date again of fear of causing someone else the pain I just caused my now ex. Breaking up is not a crime. Do not lie about them. In the morning she had a want to break up. 46M subscribers in the AskReddit community. However the dreams we have are completely different and deep down I just don’t feel like she’s my soul mate. Do not try to talk other people out of dating them unless you have a very good reason to do so. Dating is to determine if you are incompatible. But the anxiety and the trauma makes it seem differently. I am 24 years old, so is she. Breaking up when you're both still in love is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes it's the right call. it is natural to feel hurt by it, you cared about her and the relationship. So we broke up nearly 4 months ago. You‘ll see the benefit in the future. And then you could’ve worked together with your partner to figure out where things regret breaking up with her. I feel like i should feel bad, because of my past actions - i mean i did stuff that was mean, uncalled for and just i was an asshole. I suggested we open up the relationship and he agreed. We dated online for a good while, and I was finally happy. •• Edited. It sounds like you've thought it through and made a difficult decision based on your future plans. She has a new boyfriend she seems happy with, I’m still sitting here thinking about her all day. M did write in a message that the therapist said that she needed to be single to process her trauma and a "clean break" would be best. You’ll connect the dots looking back. I recently took my gf on a getaway weekend, nothing fancy just a four day weekend to the Hilton Hotel going on fun outings she mentioned she wanted to do like ice skating, dancing, painting and other my partner broke up with me last week, after a year together. I failed in the past multiple times. I should have broken up with her at the start because we were not sexually compatible. Love isn’t just about butterflies in the early parts and when life is easy, it’s about always choosing the other person. 1. I really want to break up with my girlfriend. The abuse “stopped” as they got older but not verbally. This is not a troll post, I am serious. We have several mutual friends and I found out through one of them that on a girls trip she took with her friends, one of her friends That is the worst breakup guide I have ever read. And next wish that popped up was… be romantic with Salim. Every month when I’m (26F) on my period I pick fights all week long with my fiancé (28M)and I contemplate breaking up. For starters when we first started dating she was still receiving texts from her ex, a different person than the guy she hooked up with but ultimately blocked him for me. Maybe you didn’t think the breakup through. We supported each other through tough times. When I dropped her off at her place she commented that she was having doubts about our relationship and wanted to break up. [deleted] I had sensed something different but when she and I made plans to go to London for our 1st year anniversary, 1 week prior to the break up, I thought everything was still fine. 11 years down the drain. If you haven't shared your reasons, and she has no idea that you've been feeling this way, then I'd talk with her ASAP and tell her that you're feeling you want to break up, but give her the opportunity to respond. When your brain starts showing you all the happy memories and making you feel guilty for leaving, remember that you left for a reason. But that friend he wanted to sleep with was in a relationship and said no. Maybe you ended the relationship over a silly fight or a minor flaw. MembersOnline. She made a post talking bout how she missed me and knew i was stalking her. So, we broke up so that I could leave and she could raise our child in safety. Dear, please break up with her and find someone that deserves you. You need to be strong now. We have been together for 4 years+. My hormones must be really out of whack or else my relationship is. 40% break up within that same time period. More than a year ago, I met this girl and we got together, we loved each other with a My ex had some serious abandonment issues because of some shit from her childhood that I don't think she's told anyone else about, but refused to go because every time she did, they always would tell her that she seems fine, because she wouldn't open up about the real reason. But maybe you’ll date other people . Broke up with a girl because she was about to head back to a fancy college and I assumed she’d quickly break up with me after a few weeks there. Who you want to be, and fixing the issues that got you there in the first place instead of pursuing more problems (and this is already a problem because your family is already against it) But that's literally the reason they made you break up according to what you wrote after. I wouldn't want to get back together with someone who breaks up with me for that reason. One of the biggest factors to take a hit after a breakup is self-confidence. The second, very good reason that you should break up with her is you resent her. It physically hurts knowing what ive done to her. Exercise will help you get moving your body, which is quite needed after a period of inactivity, and it will help your body release endorphins which are the feel good hormones. I was angry angry. I refuse to tolerate passive agressiveness in relationships, so I'd nope the fuck off. But still why didn’t she block him especially after hooking up with somebody before me. Gf (29/f) slept with someone else during break. We were together for four years and we had a very rocky relationship. also forget the labels, alcohol is the root cause here, solve that and you probably solve the problem. She deserves to be with someone who loves her back. I wanted to see what is greener on the other side. Hi! I'm a 25F and I recently went through the same thing as you, though my relationship was for a total of 5 years and not for 9. I was determined to not be the one getting dumped, so I did it first. Award. She’d been having a particularly rough episode this week and after a little argument I asked her if she really wanted to get better at all. We went to each other's prom/school dances. I literally went through grieving for every break up. Regardless of the fact you didn’t want to me with me any more; I thought our friendship and our bond above anything was strong enough for there to at least be a discussion about what it was that was giving you doubts. It should of ended after two years but we stayed together because we were comfortable. But she likes going to bars and parties with her girlfriends like a lot… and she’s drinking there a lot with very revealing clothing. Her parents caught her talking to me, and she got banned from having anything. I've just graduated from college, and I've been going through something of a quarter-life crisis with big decisions coming on the horizon that have led me to reflect on a lot of my past. She met Salim Benali wanted to date him and woohoo so I did it. If you break up maturely, you don't have anything to regret in ending things. But it always, ALWAYS leads to better things. If you break up and she threatens self harm, offer to call her an ambulance or an Uber to a hospital. Fuck you. Tell them your relationship is not healthy anymore, so you're going to break it off, but that you're worried about the wellbeing of this girl. I didnt want to know at first but decided to go digging and ask mutual friends what ex had been up to that month she was acting shady. I'm going to start with our story, but i will make it very brief. You’re supposed to be her partner, not her servant. She used to be close friends with her ex, however he tried to make a move on her while she and I were together. hrvy4. Yes, it will suck. AITA For wanting to break up with my GF after finding out the truth? I am a 30 (M) and my GF a 29 (F) have been dating for 2yrs now. I had a lot of reasons to break up with my ex, but the breaking point was when I realized she just didn't respect my feelings. They decided they didn’t want to choose you anymore and then after that, because they’re detaching, they use the bullshit line of “oh I just lost feelings,” as if they didn’t actively push them away. I can’t break up with my gf. When talks about changes or respecting boundaries do not lead to positive action, it's time to get out. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. It would make sense you feel bad about it. Plain and simple; you can't avoid hurting her feelings, and that's not your problem. I’m currently working, however my girlfriend just quit her job 3 months ago, that the people she worked with were toxic. She loved to club, had tons of guy "friends", but promised to give all that up once we were married. She deserves to be loved for who she is now and not have her past experiences held against her. Nobody has to give second chances. It lasted 2 months and we eventually got back together. I hooked up with an ex of mine after she went through a lot of trouble to track me down and "bump into me". Had a good after date. We had a fight something insignificant which led to her wanting a "break" and I didn't agree to it. I'm so sorry you're going through this, that is crap. I had to break up with her because I'm a fuck up, and in a mentally bad area in my life and it isn't fair to drag her down with me. I did break up with D before I did anything with K, and D even made it easy. 11) Don't sleep with the person again, after you have broken up. Do you love her enough to keep up with her bullshit? most people who drink regularly/daily actually are but we/they dont label them until the alcoholism leads to abuse, neglect, fights or they seek help. My boyfriend makes effort too. My ex is struggling with depression and says, outside of her relationship with me, her life is miserable. Talk about an absolutely shitty way to feel. She had a massive blow up in front of two of my friends and their gf’s (we were all staying at an Airbnb). My boyfriend of 7 years (20-27) broke up with me 2 days ago. In the meantime, if she’s getting this worked up over something small like candy, time to get away from this woman, pronto. Tell her the truth: you are hung up on your own lack of experience and need to work on yourself. his mental state got worse over this summer, and mine also started going downhill. If my partner threatens to break up over a minor matter without bothering to resolve the issue, its a sign of how she views the relationship along with her method of problem solving. If you end up dating other people then end up back together, then that works out. She’d(19F) always been struggling with it and I(21M) helped her as much as I could for all these months. Upvotes for an actual grown up response. Take a few days of space and if you still feel that you want to break up, then you Probability of a first marriage ending in separation or divorce within 5 years: 20%. The best way to move on in this scenario is to give each other space and time. Even though weeks and months have passed, you still find your every waking moment taken up by thinking of them. I'm broken. When someone isn't right for you, they're not right for you. Maybe you didn’t give the relationship a fair chance. Maybe she won't want to hear it at first, but this really is for the best. So my gf and I have been together for about 4 years. The best you can do is avoid insulting her. Lack of communication results in heartbreak and too many unanswered She had a job in the medical field and got a really, really good job offer back home but was having difficulty finding a job in my hometown. He called me up one night saying he had cheated on me (this was the 2nd time) so I said I was done, no more of this crap. She’s hurting. 14. My girlfriend was the crazy girlfriend stereotype. Girlfriend broke up with me because of her own depression? I'll try to keep it short and to the point. FutureEarly885. He became absolutely addicted, stopped taking his schizophrenia medication, and the psychosis and paranoia took over. I just broke up with my gf and it hurts. He was my first love, my first relationship, and now my first heartbreak. But it gets easier, you realize why it wasn't working and you realize that the person wasn't your soul mate. Whole time i was stalking my Ex on here. Redditors who are now married because you didn't know how to break up with your significant other, how is that going for you? My ex used to do that but in a subtle way. I slowly walked away. My girlfriend (25F) and I (27M) have been together for 2 years and have been living together. The longer you drag this out, the more of a disservice you are doing to her. It'll just confuse everything. due to this, our relationship became, in his own words, 'toxic'. He is a hell of a guy and I'm sure I'll be looking for someone with similar qualities as him, but the timing just wans't right. I've thought everyone I dated was my soul mate at the time. There is never a good time for a break up, you don't owe her anything, and you need to put yourself first in this. That's a good enough reason to break it off with her right there. Don't hang out, pretend to be buddies etc. I would imagine that I’m the only person who However, we were from different worlds. I broke up with my BF of 1. Talk people. For a little bit of context, I still love her, but she isnt the right woman for me and I know we would After wants/fears update I went with the flow and had my sim do all of them. She said she didn’t want to break up, but when I pretty much begged her to tell me what to do she said she didn’t want to keep trying. After she threw a mug at my head For the dumpers who regret breaking up with their ex. You deserve to gr You asked them to change, over and over again. I think you deserve I want to break up with my fiancé when I’m on my period. She has manipulated you out of a break up, too. Then make sure to keep space between you for at least 3-6 months. They knew each other for about 10 years, they were high Thank you very much for this kind and thorough response. Be honest, be forward. ask them why they started to feel the way they feel when they’re in that headspace. AITAH for wanting for break up with my gf after her ex's funeral. Don't take her out to dinner to break up with her. Goes double for every time you have the conversation again. Most people praising it have probably never broken up with someone, or been broken up with, becuase had my last girlfriend broken up with me like that, it would have been absolutely horrible. If you continue to live with her, then continue to expect this treatment. •. So thank you to both for responding to the others. We then started meeting up often at the gym together and went out to the bars together multiple times. Not just for yourself, but for her as well. However, once the pandemic hit he took up smoking crystal meth at home while I was away at work all day. She had just spent a weekend at my place and everything was lovely, romantic and beautiful. It was very abrupt and cold. I commented because i was angry. Chin up, OP. She said she would turn down the job to stay with me, but I had to commit to her. Break up means break up. Do not start seeing other people right after breaking up out of spite, anger or basically any other reason than genuinely liking another person. She deserves someone who won't hurt her when she is trying her best to be there for me when I'm in a bad mood. thowaway4100. I (29/m) have been in a serious relationship of 1. they didn’t ask to feel the agony that comes with feeling ADMIN MOD. Call her therapist, parents, friends, neighbors, to name something. The bad part is, you shouldn't be with anybody until you sort yourself out mentally. Go to her house so she doesn't have to drive home crying, and so you don't have to kick her out. She can be looked after by professionals. Because that can impact how hurtful it is. Of course one thing led to another, and after we were finished she immediately started crying and said she had to break up with her boyfriend now. The first ever major realization was that I was a rebound and nothing I ever did will make him love me. When she's with me, we laugh, have fun, cuddle, have great sex, kiss, act obsessed with each When we found out that she was pregnant, we decided together that it would be best if I left until it was safe for me to come back. I don't know if i am a bad person. She has a history of drinking and starting random arguments. What I’m saying is, you can’t date someone in the middle with full intent of going back to your original significant other. I love him a lot still but I feel we’re growing… While people with BPD do feel a lot of pain, they also use threats like that to manipulate you to stay. You need to give up that hope if you want to move forward. Nobody is obligated to give the person they’re not in love with anymore a chance to fix it. You do it quickly and firmly, like ripping off a bandaid, so the pain is less. I really believed he was my forever. Yes, it will break her heart. My mind wasn't well. That’s not even it as there was a guy who liked her and the night I met my 139 votes, 391 comments. He slept at her house. I loved her so much. Him and his family, he grew up with abusive parents in an abusive family in an abusive household. 3. She knew it. Just break up with her in the same way you would break up with anyone else. I can tell you this: If you break up with her and expect her to wait two years to be with you again, you're going to lose her. Especially if she’s leaving messes and ordering you to clean them up. After a couple weeks went by I offered to pick up and move schools to one in her city in order to make things easier (she had said the distance was making things really hard and just wanted us in the same city). It can feel like your world is ending, in a way it does. I have been with my girlfriend (Kate) exclusively for 5 years but on and off for 2 years before. The comments they were making and pushing her to leave me. If you want to break up, I'd suggest doing it in public. 5 years now, have lost ~20kg of fat in the process and My ex and I were together for 14 years and it was a magical time. The next day, over a message application, she ended it, within a matter of Then block her on everything. I did it. however, it may be too late for the damage its done here. I can see you make a lot of effort. We continued having a great time texting all the time and I decided to pull the trigger. What’s it like to break up (29f) with someone you love? 5 year long relationship, we live together. She was from a blue-collar family, had aspired to work in education after a few years in the "real world" working retail, and her own difficult life had already made her strong (and angry). We never had sex and we rarely did anything together. At the age of 19 I dated a girl who had what I thought was a low body count. I have been an avid gym goer for about 1. Turns out she was devastated and was planning on making a long distance thing work. My 24M Girlfriend 23F Just Broke up With Me Because of Her Work Friends. Found out her friend told her to breakup with me. my ex’s mom is the one who broke up with me THROUGH TEXT on her behalf so i feel you. the attempt to reconcile is a sub-consciously formulated 3 dimensional chess play related to the first point lmao. I know how she feels. If I had stayed and someone had found out about my child then all of us would have been in danger. Had to break up with my girlfriend So i’m in my first year of university (M18) and i met a girl that was really funny (F18)and on my vibe and we was talking for a few months and spending a lot of time together and we give eachother great company, and i asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes but she also told me she’s really scared I (M21) started dating a girl (19F) about 2 months ago. Ask yourself if you love her enough to keep up with the bullshit. The main reason why (I thought about it) is because I have taken her for granted. Don't let there be any doubt in either of your minds whether you're broken up or not and be honest with her about why. So I’ll keep it short, the relationship is healthy and we don’t argue much. You resent her for being happier than you, and it sounds like she's resenting you for things as well, like Had a 2 year relationship where she didnt want to have sex yet (she was a virgin, had multiple reasons to not have sex) and I eventually broke up with her because I moved to Germany (lived in Canada). So she cut off their friendship. You'd not even notice he's criticizing you until later. 5. I had taken a 2 month break from reddit and then decided to get on. You forgave over and over again. If you were feeling off for a while, then you could have communicated the moment you felt that way instead of choosing to drift apart. 5 years with my gf (29/f) with talks about marriage, kids, and moving out together. On the flip side, I was spoiled and naive. Thankfully I make enough to keep the lights on but it’s been hard with her not working, hard to buy food and other needs when I’m throwing my entire remind them, that they’re not a bad person for feeling the way that they do. I can't date someone I'll never get to talk to or see. I told him I had not, K said that he would take me on one, and me dating D wasn't a deal cause he was only doing so I would know what it was like. 10/10. My MIL was the main reason we split up after 20 years. This woman thought you were going to break up and instead of communicating, revenge cheated. BustergunFIRE. I did not appreciate the time and moment with her. I had to break up with her. 5 years because I needed to work on myself and my self-esteem. The night we broke up I tried to confront her about her mistreatment of me and that’s when she said she wasn’t happy with the way things were going. A lot of my first happened with her. If you break up do not tell her it is because of her past. The worst fight I broke up wasn't because of students getting hurt, but because of how lame it was. Went to sleep and had a good dream about her which made me angry when i woke up. And they took advantage of that over and over again. take them for a drive or just distract them. I was having sex with someone else and he was jealous. She is forced to breakup because of her parents. And it went very smooth, with no hurt feelings. When she's with me, we laugh, have fun, cuddle, have great sex, kiss, act obsessed with each My gf just dumped me in part due to my small pill habit, which costs $200 per month and only happens one week out of the month. tl;dr I think I want to break up with my girlfriend (we're in college together) because I want to focus on myself during my senior year, and don't want to be in a relationship anymore. Im already sobbing and idk what to do ADMIN. I proposed to her, and during our engagement I discovered her body count wasn't nearly as low as she led me to believe, and her "experiences" were towards the extreme. When you break up, make it a clean break. About 10% remain in an unmarried relationship five years or ADMIN MOD. 12) Be kind to yourself. if you love them and want to stay with them, that’s how you help them. It has nothing to do with her. As terrible as I felt back then, I consider it a blessing in disguise. he suffered from mental health issues when we first got together, and I tried to help him (eventually he started medication, but refused therapy). I had to show her that I was done cheating by getting engaged, eventually marrying her, and having a baby. I broke up with her and she attempted suicide. Ask them to keep an eye on her. You deserve to mourn the loss also. I'm not addicted by any means, but I guess she just got scared and decided to bail. ar ve vb jg sd kl od jx nv wk